Are we really doing this again?
by HelpImUpsideDown
Summary: A bunch of one shots and tales of the Survey Corps in their natural habitat. I decided it would be much easier to put them in one place than into a bunch of different docs and stories.


**A/N don't look at me, I'm rusty. **

**I don't own shingeki no kyojin. **

***little note for you: I refer to Hanji as 'they' because it has been confirmed that Hanji is of non binary gender and I really don't want to offend people. **

Hanji Zoe cackled as they walked out of the only room that had yet to be sacrificed to Levi's obsessive cleaning. Seriously, bless those innocent pieces of imaginary dirt and dust. So far Hanji's plan was working, what a time to be alive! Although, if she keeps going the way she is, she _won't_ make it to next year.

"Time for my ship to set sail!" Hanji giggled quietly, the smile dropped off as Levi came into view. The usual pissed look on Levi's face comforted Hanji. _Ah, that sounded better in my head... All well! It's not like Levi is a mind reader... Or is he? _

Hanji shot a look at the midget. He looks normal... Only this time he's in the cleaning outfit, well, I suppose he could have put the maid outfit on. Hanji mentally shrugged.

Levi was careful not to touch Hanji as he moved past, god forbid he catch anything. A white bandanna was wrapped over his hair, another tied over his mouth, and what seems to be a feather duster by his side.

"Levi." Hanji had to shove the unbelievable glee away at how easily the plan was coming together. Levi frowned and continued walking into the room, a 'tch' leaving his mouth.

_Ah, it must be wonderful to see imaginary dirt! Actually, that sounds terrible... I'll ask him about it later! _

Hanji glanced up and down the hallway before finally spotting the target of her excitement today.

"Ah, Eren!"

Eren turned to look at the caller of his name, his face instantly became wary and confused.

It wasn't like Hanji to bother him this early, unless to; 1) discuss titans. 2) study him. 3) Hanji is going to do something or has already done something.

Hence why Eren seemed on edge as soon as Hanji came bouncing over, ever gleeful smile gracing her face.

_I can't let this fail! If I do, Corporal is going to be alone forever... Although, I mostly just want to see some guy sex._

"Eren, how's my _favourite_ titan?"

Eren had to hold back that he was her only titan, god forbid that she hit him, He'd had enough of that from the violent midget.

"I'm _fine_, thank you, Hanji-San."

Hanji pouted before bursting excitedly, "Corporal's looking for you!" Bopping him on the nose.

_why the fuck did Hanji boop me?_

Eren's eyebrows furrowed, looking rather suspicious. "Why?"

"Something about cleaning." Hanji waved it off, shaking from the happiness. "Room down this hall, last one to be cleaned."

As Eren walked away Hanji heard him mutter, "I've had enough of this bastard _and_ cleaning."

Hanji cackled and walked away, if there was a yell and screams of pain, we all know what happened. But if they come out completely unharmed, the ship will set sail!

Eren rubbed his tired eyes.

_Why does Levi even want his help? Last time he tried to help the bastard he got 4 ribs fractured, not to mention he also says that his cleaning sucks. Hah, bet it swallows too. _

_No, but seriously, fuck that guy, I hate him. _

Eren took a calming breath before waltzing into the room. The sight of the sun blinded him momentarily, the heat brushed his arms.

Corporal didn't even turn, but he continued to dust the windows.

_Rude. No, but seriously, whats he seeing? They look hella clean to me. Oh, wait, my opinion doesn't count. _

"What do _you_ want, Jaeger?" The voice was blunt and to the point, at least He was aware of Eren now.

_Wait, hold up..._

"You asked me to help you clean."

"Tch, why would _I_ want your shitty cleaning?"

"But _Hanji_ said-" He stopped talking and chose to glare at the corporal.

For the duration of the conversation Eren had noticed that the corporal only looked above his head.

_What the fuck is he looking at? Dirt? Blood? Gateway to hell? Hah, looks like he might be going home. _

Corporal finally glanced at Eren's face, eyebrows raised.

"Haven't you noticed it?"

Eren was really confused at this point. He took a look around. Empty.

"What?"

He took a step closer, warning signs rang distinctly in Eren's head.

"The mistletoe above us, idiot"

Heat ran to Eren's face. Oh, god, damn it Hanji!

Corporal seemed to be getting closer. Eren was frozen. _Shit what do I do?! Fuck! _

"Fair game to Hanji, I'm a sucker for rules."

He was in front of the younger boy now. Eren seemed to be having some breathing problems.

"H-hold up! You don't mean you going to-"

"Kiss you, yes." _Oh, phew, at least he won't hit me in chest or face... _

_Wait, what? Oh fuck no! _

Eren was about to protest when his shirt front was grabbed and he was forced down. Midget is stronger then he looks, you'd think Eren would know this considering his tooth was knocked out by said midget.

Levi pressed his lips against Eren, it was only a small peck. This disappointed Eren, Levi too, although he wouldn't admit that. He wouldn't admit anything to this brat.

"I have cleaning to do. Be at my office in 2 hours, ill bring the mistletoe." Levi patted the boys cheek before pulling away.

Eren could only open and close his mouth, yet no words formed.

"WHAT THE _HELL_?! IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS!"

So _maybe_ Eren didn't hate the corporal as much as he had originally thought... Although, he _will_ be going on a manhunt for Hanji.


End file.
